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Video GameThe Procession to Calvary Review
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Posted: 3 months ago, last updated 10 weeks ago.

Author: Ben Kendall, @GeekDadGamer and Jo Robertson.


The Procession to Calvary is an intentionally peculiar point-and-click narrative told through a collage of renaissance paintings. You play a warrior on a quest to capture the former ruler of the land, talking to (or killing) people, interacting with objects, and solving puzzles as you go. The unusual premise, setting and general irreverent, Monty Python-style humour match the strange choices you must make to create a surreal but strangely compelling experience.

After the tyrannical reign of Heavenly Peter comes to a close, a time of peace ensues. But he escapes capture, leading your character, a strong (and murder-inclined) warrior, to ask the new leader, Immortal John, for permission to find and kill Peter. When he accepts, you set out on your quest, which sees you explore the land, meeting rulers, peasants, and everyone in between, solving puzzles to earn favours or unlock new options and areas until you complete your quest or fail trying.

Play involves moving around the richly detailed screens, locating the items and people you can interact with. Every location is a wacky collage of different famous renaissance paintings by artists like Rembrandt and Michelangelo, creating an unusual and comical scene. Each object or person can be interacted with in three distinct ways, each resulting in a different outcome that shifts the story.

Often, you need to complete puzzles to make progress, with some requiring specific choices and actions. Alternatively, you can simply murder whoever's preventing you from advancing, although this can quickly lead to disastrous consequences. Each of the three distinct endings is a direct result of how you decide to play, be that carefully solving puzzles and avoiding violence or doing quite the opposite.

The result is a bizarre mashup of classical art and music with a strange, darkly humorous and comedic story that creates an unusual space in which your actions and decisions shape your adventure.

DetailsGame Details

Release Date: 09/04/2020, updated in 2021

Price: 55% off

Platforms: Android, Mac, PC, PS4, Switch, Xbox One, Xbox Series X|S and iOS

Content Rating: PEGI 16

Skill Rating: 9+ year-olds

Players: 1

Genres: Adventure, Fighting, Narrative, Point-and-Click and Puzzle

Accessibility: 18 features

Developer: Joe Mc Richardson (@JoeMcRichardson)




Play Time: This game will take between 1 and a half hours and 4 hours to complete. Depending on your choices, you get a different ending, some of which can be obtained much more quickly than others. Getting all the endings takes several hours.

Play StylePlay Style

This is a single-player game.

You can play this game in the following styles:

Age RatingsAge Ratings

Content Rating

Rated PEGI 16 for Strong Language, Strong Violence, and Horror.

The Developer gives the following Mature Content Description on Steam:
"Contains cartoon violence/nudity, occasional strong language and adult themes."

Skill Rating

9+ year-olds usually have the required skill to enjoy this game. Still, it's important for parents and guardians to consider the maturity required to process the game content. You click on different objects and select actions to perform, with no time limits or other pressures. Some of the puzzles can be quite difficult, but not all endings require you to complete them all.


The Procession to Calvary usually costs £7.99 to £13.49. 

The Procession to Calvary

There are no additional in-game purchases, loot boxes, adverts or subscription costs.


Our The Procession to Calvary Accessibility Report documents 18 accessibility features:
There are never any time limits to your actions, meaning you can take as long as you need to figure out how to progress. When searching for items you can interact with, it can be difficult as there is no outline around such items or people. In addition, the painting style means some objects are low in contrast to each other. Some of the backgrounds have moving effects like flames that can distract from the action.

The text in the game is all very high contrast and fairly large, but not 1/20th of the screen high.

Diversity and InclusionDiversity and Inclusion

We have documented the following aspects of the game in terms of inclusion and representation. Let us know if we missed something.

Gender and Sexuality:

Gender Representation: The gender representation of the pre-defined characters you can play in the game.

  • Play as Stereotype-Free Woman: The game's protagonist is a woman who doesn't conform to common gender stereotypes. Leading the narrative and not conforming to common objectification.

Taming Gaming Book Written by parents for parents, the database complements the in-depth discussion about video game addiction, violence, spending and online safety in the Taming Gaming book. We are an editorially independent, free resource without adverts that is supported by partnerships.

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