25/08/2021 16:40:44 / 2 years ago / Author: Andy Robertson

Like most ways to play, video games are fun on your own, but much more fun with other people. Online video games are a positive and connecting way to play. However, as children move into this space it can be hard to know how to protect, support and guide them.

Before I get into advice about how to understand and control who they are talking to and playing within their games, the most important piece of advice is to foster an open conversation about online friends with your child. It’s crucial that they can talk to you about who they are playing with and what’s happening without worrying about losing the games they love to play.

A powerful way to do this is to play online games with your child from an early age. This creates a context where mistakes are made together and establishes an open conversation where your child is more likely to tell you if something happens online that doesn't feel right, and more likely to listen to your ongoing advice and guidance. I’ve put together this list of games that are great to take first steps into this online playground with your child.

Discord, Facebook And Game-Adjacent Groups

This open context should include game-adjacent communities. These are ways that children communicate with each other (and adults) to learn about games, chat and organise teams to play games.

Discord is the most popular currently, but some communities also use Facebook pages, Messenger or WhatsApp. These communication platforms are not designed for children and you need to be at least 13 to legally use most of them. The groups are often private to ensure that only fans of the game can join.

These apps may have some settings to specify what information is shared, but there are no passwords to lock these in place like they are on systems designed with children in mind (like video game consoles).

These groups can extend the enjoyment and develop deeper tactics and team-play in games. My son loves his Battlefront and Dungeons and Dragons Discord groups where he organises a team of players to meet on Xbox and play more organised battles that would otherwise be possible.

It’s a layer of interaction that reminds me of the coordinated re-enactment societies that meet to recreate historic battles. But also, it’s something I work to keep part of my conversations with him because I know he (13) is talking to a range of ages of people, many of whom are likely adults.

Using these platforms yourself so you understand how they work is a good step. A good first step can be to create a family community on Discord, Facebook or WhatsApp. You can have fun getting to know how it works and children can gain confidence in asking questions.

Making an informed decision about whether your child should be using them is important. It’s fine to say “no” or “not yet” if they are not mature enough to understand risks. When they are using them, ensure you talk about those communities, check-in (with permission) at what is being shared.]